Anatomy Of A Brogressive

Brogressives tend to congregate online in spaces like Reddit and the Gawker comment section (though never Jezebel, unless it is to, as anthropologists say, “troll”). You will find the Brogressive discussing things with others of his kind – things like the NSA and Wikileaks. Often, they will spend hours on Reddit discussing drone policy – but only insofar as drones serve to remind people of the Real Problems With American Foreign Policy. Sometimes, The Brogressive will describe himself as ‘socially liberal, but fiscally conservative.’ This is mainly because he would really, really like marijuana legalized.

The natural enemy of the Brogressive is the Intersectional Feminist. When the two come in conflict, the Brogressive retreats into his protective cave of White Male Privilege, accusing the Intersectional Feminist of being a distraction to the True Progressive Cause (which is, of course, getting Julian Assange out of Sweden so he can get away from those pesky rape charges). The Brogressive, when confronted with his selfishness, will respond with privilege-denying epithets, such as ‘I can’t be racist; I sleep with women of color all the time!’ and ‘Calm your tits; I was just JOKING when I talked about prison rape!” and “You feminists are so oversensitive! Why do you hate men?’


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