The Bimbo and the Tomato – A story Using Slang Phrases From The 1920s

Click through to the article to translate.

Once upon a time, a bimbo (also known to be something of a cake-eater) asked out a tomato who some thought to be a cancelled stamp or a Mrs. Grundy, but was actually a choice bit of calico and hotsy-totsy with nice bubs. His egg friend warned him, “don’t take any wooden nickels,” but he just replied, “phonus balonus!”

At first he thought he’d take her to a rub but changed his mind and invited her to a petting pantry instead. She accepted and they went out the following night.

After the movie, they hit up a bar where he ordered some panther piss and she got giggle water. As a result, he got spifflicated and she, zozzled. In this state he told her he had to iron his shoelaces but in reality, he had to pull a Daniel Boone. Even in her ossified state, she knew what he was up to and said, “bushwa!”

Realizing that she was a bearcat, he really started to fall for this sheba, and being quite the Oliver Twist, he asked her to dance. Once on the dance floor, they started making whoopee but the cheaters wearing bouncer, who was a wurp and a bluenose, yelled, “bank’s closed!”

At this point, the four-flusher of a man, realized he didn’t have enough mazuma so he told her, “let’s blouse!” She knew her onions and took one last jorum of skee before hearing the bouncer yell, “go chase yourself!” The man gave her a quick cash just as they made a quick exit and drove away in his darb hayburner.

The end.


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