Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son

http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/
This is the perfect antidote to posts like this: FYI (if you’re a teenage girl)

fatherson

It is a woman’s responsibility to dress herself in the morning. It is your responsibility to look at her like a human being regardless of what she is wearing.

Image source and article: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/

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FYI (if you’re a teenage girl) [COUNTERPOINT]

This is a response to this post – http://givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/ – which reads, in part:

Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it? You don’t want the Hall boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?

Neither do we.

And so, in our house, there are no second chances, ladies. If you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent. If you try to post a sexy selfie, or an inappropriate YouTube video – even once – you’ll be booted off our on-line island.

I know that sounds harsh and old-school, but that’s just the way it is under this roof for a while. We hope to raise men with a strong moral compass, and men of integrity don’t linger over pictures of scantily clad high-school girls.

Read the rest of that article here: http://givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/
beachboys

Counterpoint:

1) I can’t help but find it a bit ironic that the post is about women’s modesty but includes two photos of topless boys on a beach. Seems a bit like a double standard.

2) Rachel Held Evans says it way better than I could:
a) “We turn modesty into objectification when we hold women responsible for the thoughts and actions of men.”
b) “The truth is, a man can choose to objectify a woman whether she’s wearing a bikini or a burqa. We don’t stop lust by covering up the female form; we stop lust by teaching men to treat women as human beings worthy of respect.”
c) “It doesn’t take long for a woman to realize that no matter what she wears, the curves of her body remain visible and will occasionally attract the notice of men. If this reality is met only with shame, if the female form is treated as inherently seductive and problematic, then women will inevitably feel ashamed of their bodies.”

You can read RHE’s whole article here:
http://www.qideas.org/blog/modesty-i-dont-think-it-means-what-you-think-it-means.aspx

Finally, a post on modesty and the body that I wholeheartedly support

What our Daughters (and sons) Need to Know about Modesty

http://www.imperfecthomemaking.com/2013/07/what-our-daughters-and-sons-need-to.html

“…we make rules in place of relationship. I do it, you do it, we all do it.

But the rules suck. They don’t make sense. They don’t account for cultural differences and personal convictions. They don’t get to the heart of the issue and they don’t have any power to set us free. Jesus came and died and rose again because rules weren’t enough.”

And later in the piece:

“By telling young women that wearing certain clothing causes men to lust after them we are setting them up to believe that their actions can cause violence and sexual assault against them. As much as it sickens me to even type these words, we are grooming them to be good complacent victims.

And what message are we sending to our sons? That they are untamable animals, subject to their bodies desires? We ask them to grow up to be godly men, the whole time saying oh, boys will be boys. Don’t we want freedom for our sons too? freedom that doesn’t depend on what the girl next door is wearing?”

modesty

Image source and article: http://www.imperfecthomemaking.com/2013/07/what-our-daughters-and-sons-need-to.html

Privilege, Modesty, and that CT Article

I’m amazed that these sorts of conversations can happen within the limitations of the twitterverse. I’m also glad that they do.

“The conversation – like so many other conversations about privilege and marginalization – became about how I shouldn’t attack people.”

Article: http://storify.com/diannaeanderson/privilege-modesty-and-that-ct-article

And the article that sparked this twitter conversation: http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2013/july/why-i-tell-my-daughters-to-dress-modestly.html